Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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