HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
