I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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