I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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