I am puke
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
