hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
