I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
