I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
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she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
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