I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
sex in a hospital.. check
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
