So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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