I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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