I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
