I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
