we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
