I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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