i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The adults are the big ones right?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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