I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
