They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
