Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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