dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize