I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
