Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
