I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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