Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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