Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
