We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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