Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
