last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
