I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
