When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
then he tried to convert me to islam
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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