Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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