too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
