i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
