Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
