Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
