There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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