oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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