Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
