I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
