dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I wear drunk well.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
