I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
