normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
