I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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