This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
