I will die if light touches me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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