I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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