did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
oh god the rape fog is back!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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