This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
