It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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