he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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