In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
