I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
