tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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