can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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