You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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