Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
