so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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