Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
