this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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