You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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