escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My ATM looks so different sober.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
