THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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