i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
