I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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