he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
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Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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