I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
