so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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