Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
