I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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