Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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